"Dating", "girlfriend", "courting", "relationship"...
There are fewer words that make a single guy nervous than when an older relative or friend brings up "the" topic. In the words of my dear aunt Barbara, "So, Tim, are you seeing anybody right now?" While I always answer the question the same way ("Not right now, Aunt Barb, but I have some possibilities") I often wonder what God has for me during this time.
These past few weeks, I have been in earnest prayer and petition before God as I have been prayerfully been considering a good friend of mine as someone with whom I would like to begin a relationship. As I have gotten to know this young woman and see her character, I have become increasingly convinced that God has pointed her out to me. As I understand her better, I respect her more and more. But more about her later.
In my browsing today, I ran across Josh Harris' Blog and was intrigued by an article linked off of that page. In it, the author was discussing what it means for a guy to model Christ for his girlfriend/fiancée . It hit me as I was reading that I should be seeking to model the love of Christ for my friend, even though we are not currently "dating". It hit me that if I am to serve her as her brother in Christ, then I must actively lay down my life, so to speak, for her. And not just for her, but for all my family of faith.
Missionally speaking, it is the job of those who claim Christ to lay down our lives for those around us. This may mean that we let others do things that we don't like, that we take time to care about their lives, that we give of our time to help others. Which brings me back to relationships.
As a single guy, I had given up trying to impress girls. I was sick and tired of doing things for girls and then having them think I was hitting on them. It was simply not worth the looks, comments and emails I got, to serve them. But in preparing my heart to enter into a relationship, I have begun to realize that if I am not serving my Christian family, how can I serve any girlfriend?
As I have been pondering these things, I have realized that I must seek something different in a relationship with this girl (or any other). Where before I was seeking my own pleasure and happiness in having someone else care about me, I am now going to try to focus on serving her and caring about her rather than trying to please myself. This will be difficult for me, as I am as selfish as every other human on the planet. I pray by God's grace to build the friendship I already have with this young woman into something more God-glorifying through our mutual service to each other, and our mutual love for the God who saves us.
Be in prayer for me, as I seek to live out the Love of God in my family of faith, and in my relationship with a particular young woman.
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