(This is what happens when three different girls tell a guy that they could never date him, cause he's "like my brother")
What does it mean to "be in love"?
What do we mean, when we say "I like him/her"?
As I've been contemplating these kinds of questions, I've been amazed by the shallowness of so many of my Christian friends. Here's what I mean:
A girl I know decided that she didn't want anything to do with a guy friend of mine, simply because my guy friend didn't like the same kind of music she did. (I wish I was kidding) Then there was the guy who totally ignored one of my female friends because she "wasn't what [he] was looking for". He didn't even consider the fact that she is a great girl, with a good personality, and that she has a burning passion for Jesus Christ. And then, not to whine about my own life, but apparently, I'm every girls' brother (at least thats what they tell me). I guess I don't understand what any of my friends are looking for in a relationship. What I do see in scripture doens't seem to be lining up with what I see in the lives of many of my friends.
From Proverbs 31, we see that a woman of God should display the following qualities:
- She is trustworthy, and has the trust of her husband.
- She is willing to work hard and provide for the needs of her husband.
- She is willing to sacrifice her personal comfort for the good of her family.
- She is strong.
- She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
- She is strong and dignified
- She is wise and kind.
- She is not idle.
- She fears the lord and is not concerned with charm or the vain pursuit of beauty.
I would encourage all my guy friends to look for these kinds of girls, instead of primarily focusing on looks or personality. In the same way, girls should be looking for the kind of man Paul describes to his protege in 1 Timothy 3.
- He must be sober-minded and self-controlled.
- He must be respectable and hospitable.
- He must be not a drunk.
- He must be not violent.
- He must be gentle and not quarrelsome.
- He must be not a lover of money.
- He must manage his own life well.
I would encourage all my female friends to look for these kinds of guys, instead of primarily focusing on looks or personality. As my good friend Scot loves to remind me, "you should be looking for a righteous guy/girl, not necessarily the 'right' guy/girl"
4 comments:
Song of Solomon has many very good attributes of the kind of man and women we should seek out for marriage.
SOS 1:3 "Your name is like purified oil; Therefore the maidens love you."
His name or his reputation as a man of honor is what attracts her to him.
SOS1:6 "Do not stare at me because I am swarthy,
For the sun has burned me.
My mother's sons were angry with me;
They made me caretaker f the vineyards,
But I have not taken care of my own vineyard."
Her appearance is secondary to her obedience and work ethic, she is obviously a woman of character.
Keep reading, they are totally enamoured with one another because they are looking at character and substance rather than physical appearance. When my daughters, who are 8 and 2 get a bit older I'll be teaching them from SOS the characters of a Godly man and what true love is all about.
Great post!
Brandon
only because she didn't like the same music? I think she has a little more growing up to do, but anyways, phenomenal post with much truth.
the "you're my brother" thing is, I think, on the same level as "God told us to date." anyways, interesting conversations with people, thanks for sharing.
godspeed
Good post. Though I have plenty of preferences in who I would date, when it comes down to it, they don't matter a whole lot. They are merely ideals, not requirements. The only one that I really can't seem to get rid of that is not an issue of character is that I must think he is smarter of me. I suppose this wouldn't keep me from going on a date with a guy, but it would most likely keep me from going on further dates w/him.
Dating, who wants to be turned in to a little dried palm fruit anyway.
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